i am getting from this experience. really grateful. to be able to see my CRAZY. and it has given me so much insight...and empathy. wow.
heard pileated call this morning...so close yet so hidden. it has been 5 years since i have seen one!!!!! please?
loving the green wet quiet.
so, yes. LOVE ADDICTION. should be called romantic fantasy/rescuer addiction. addicted to avoidant addicts. perfect match for CRAZY. haha. i can see how i move between the two--love addiction and avoidant addiction. i was the avoider with M and can have such understanding of A's sudden retreat when i recall my own response to the intensity and overwhelm and pressure of someone rushing into relationship with constant enthusiasm and constant need for validation and for intensity. it's exhausting...and not based in who the person really is, not seeing and getting to know but in love with a dream, an image, and then upset when person doesn't match this. and this is what I DO! ahhhhh! stop the cycle!
it has been so clarifying eye-opening relieving these past few days. to see it and know I CAN MAKE CHOICES for myself. nurturing what makes me feel GOOD. also, my friends are INSPIRING and LOVING.
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