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what?! it doesn't make sense
it can't
i can see how little he values our connection
the way he threw it away
it is insane, truly
to say a few days before how much he loves spending time with me
and then to disappear
without a trace
as if we never shared a connection
as if we never shared our hearts
as if we never shared our love
it is insane
and it really hurts

i know i am buddha nature beyond all stories and ideas
i am also human and feeling so much sadness and mourning of someone i felt so close to 
who has shut me out so completely
and treated me like i am nothing
or something to be discarded so easily
without a flicker of care or any hint of the intimacy we shared

i can only ask
please, the love that is bigger than me
the heart that opened fearlessly when i saw his face
that heart now please release me
let me go
into the love of that heart and fully feel that love for myself
treasuring the sweetness we shared and moving on
please give me the strength