i am back to the lack. the lack that isn't really there. when the absence is felt of what the brain contracted around and the heart leaped towards without knowing anything about the future except that everything changes all the time. the longing the confusion the disappointment the hurt the frustration the annoyance the sadness and in it and through it--the beauty of the the diamond in the center, the brilliance of the love and courage of the cracked openness. even in the silly fantasies of a young girl going on 33, there is the purest intention to see and embody spaciousness and to soar with someone's spirit. that's beautiful and mind doesn't always know best when it grasps towards that when it wants when it tries to figure out and hold on. the end is a new beginning!
it's oh so subtle and seductive the mind's little sneaky tentacles hooking into a fantasy into expectations into a little movie and i bother myself when i believe and things do not go as planned for how could they??? confusing the temporary high for freedom...
my friend Julia posted these relevant words
Quit trying to make things work... say goodbye... move on... let go! Fly Blackbird it is time!
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